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February 28, 2006;/h3>

{     "Super Nova" Jeff Soto at Jonathan Levine Gallery     }

To the readers of Jeff Soto needs no introduction. His brand of wigger graffiti/designer toy culture influenced "fine art" is just the kind of thing this forum tends to laud with uncritical abandon. But his New York solo debut, on view at Jonathan Levine Gallery from February 18th-March 18th, presents us with as many problems as it does solutions.

Paintings like Battle for Twin Palms showcase what we have come to love in Soto's work. The layering of painterly collage derived from Barry McGee with characters imitative of Star Wars, Miyazaki films and Transformers are all there as well as his now familiar vocabulary of flaming paint rollers, butterflies, bulbous cacti plant forms, robot bodies with dopey smiley faces, floating cube forms all tied together with succinct texts and sweeps of color across battle torn vistas of western US sky. The Duel, Wild Growth, Winter, The Protectors and Growers all display this direction. That's as far as it goes for interesting paintings though.

     » Jonathan Levine Gallery
     » Jeff Soto


February 26, 2006;/h3>

{     Stereolab "Oscillons from the Anti-Sun"     } How much cool is too much? At what point does a fashionably detached façade turn into an unhealthy surplus of apathy? For the members of Stereolab such questions are passé. First of all, here’s what you get. This box set sports eight, previously import-only EPs spanning the “Groop’s” fifteen year career, plus a DVD packed with rare music videos and live performances from the BBC’s The Word and Later with Jools Holland. To make matters worse, the band has thrown in eight stickers featuring their elegant, modish cover art. The EPs have been deconstructed and sequenced non-chronologically over the course of three disks. This curious move only serves to reinforce Stereolab’s formulaic approach and unflinching sanguinity as the tracks could run together seamlessly in almost any order. Whether it’s the hypnotic drone of their formative years or the boundless genre-blending of their recent work with John McEntire of Tortoise and Jim O’Rourke of Sonic Youth, a bubbling undercurrent of euphoria unites each note the group plays. And yet, they somehow balance this child-like buoyancy with a sophisticated chic that is absolutely timeless. Some of you may be thinking, “How much is all this optimism gonna cost me?” The short answer is a meager twenty-five bucks. The long answer is you’re going to be spending a lot of time sifting through this treasure-trove. By the time you are finished, you may be too cool for your own good. Review by Sean Laishley

     » Stereolab

     » Buy it...


February 24, 2006;/h3>

{     The Shins - Wincing The Night Away     }    


I know, you remember how it all started. You were hip to the Shins when their first EP came out, the same way you heard about Coldplay before the song “Yellow” plastered the airwaves and everyone was declaring Coldplay the best band since the Beatles. Well, welcome to defcon 1 again because the Shins’ latest album Wincing The Night Away is unbelievably good. Proving once again that talent can succeed in a time where American Idols are ripping through the American airwaves, The Shins latest album is literally flawless in terms of good songs from start to end.

Still, among the jewels in this album the tracks that stand out as my absolute favorites are “Turn On Me” with “Australia” closing in as a close second. Now I know you might think because The Shins are gaining such a heartfelt acceptance by the bigger audience that they’ve lost a little appeal but if you truly believe that good music is good music no matter how big the audience, then go get yourself Wincing The Night Away. Believe me, you won’t be sorry.

     » Buy it...


February 23, 2006;/h3>

{     Man Man "Six Demon Bag"     }

Sometimes creativity can lie in planning. Get up; make a to-do list, carry it out, cup of coffee in hand, buzzing along just executing things without a hitch. It's a corporate model really, a shirt tucked in and shoes shined kind of work. Grids result or folded clothes or neatly written thank you cards to grandma for the recipe she sent.

Other times though when the hair grows long on your neck your pants end up on backwards and a sense of abandon springs out of some irrational response to the weather, a new love, a frustrating night playing darts or just because you have to fucking kick it creativity is very different. When this happens it's a bloody mouthed harlot trying to give you the cooties. Her bratty amour fou makes a dipshit ninja out of you and you just have to go with it. You end up going all like aslkfhnadks;G N/LKSDJNV;' ,ALJDNSG;IAI SJERG;/,NSD V and not giving a shit. This is the cut of Man Man's jib. They're not totally insane, mind you, but they got a floppy jalopy that goes cloppity cloppity. Check out the track "Black Mission Goggles" from their new album and you'll hear what I'm talking about.

Think Captain Beefheart with a little Gogol Bordello by way of the Decemberists. Chase it with some tender, melancholy, whitey funk juice and you've got the sound as categorized as you'll get. Six Demon Bag just came out. Get it ya heezziers and maw doe wee shop lickklsm dnfgp;ajko satandm ;lkAE POOIJD{ KLOJWSD!!!

     » Man Man
     » Ace Fu Records


February 22, 2006;/h3>

{     Justice "Waters of Nazareth" 12"     } So I had this dream the other night. I was standing in the center aisle of a Gothic cathedral with stained glass windows depicting the battles of Godzilla. On the right was a scene depicting Godzilla and Megalon in fierce battle against the backdrop of NYC, but there was a volcano where the twin towers used to stand. On my left was Godzilla standing over the fallen body of King Ghidorah but grasped in Godzilla's right claw was the King's head and from the neck of his fallen foe sprouted a rainbow. As I stood in wonderment gazing at these awe inspiring windows Rick James and the Mary Jane Girls burst through the window on the right and half the members of The Revolting Cocks (to be exact it was Al Jourgensen, Paul Barker, Ogre, and Luc Van Acker) burst through the window on the left. Now I've seen some fights in my life but nothing compares to the blood curdling screams of the Mary Jane Girls as the lead singer of Ministry pummels their crack head svengali. Brutal? Uh...yeah. So as the king of cocaine-fuelled funk and his she-warriors Battle it out with the originators of grinding industrial noise the entire cathedral begins to shake. Gargoyles and chunks of plaster rain from the ceiling and the walls start to crumble. Then a saw blade that is connected to a cast metal cod piece at least ten feet tall comes slicing and thrusting it's way through the altar at the front of the church. This is shocking enough to stop the furious fight between the funksters and evil noise-makers forcing them to stand in silence staring at the saw as it continues it's way through the end of the church. As the church walls fall away around the saw-blade crotch we realize it's connected to a giant Blackie Lawless. Blackie then thrusts his pelvis forward into the crowd of jerri curls and dreadlocks turning the group into a bloody mess of body parts and leather pants. As the warm blood from this attack splashes against my face I wake from the dream covered in sweat yet oddly aroused. I look to my right and on my nightstand sits a copy of Justice "Waters of Nazareth", a bottle of grain alcohol, and a match. It's times like these that I wish I would have payed attention in my "interpreting dreams and symbols" psych class.

     » Check the Myspace action.
     » Vice records ROCKS!!!


{     Bad Ideas for Knuckle Tattoos     }    



February 21, 2006;/h3>

{     Blueprint - 1988     }    

blueprint.jpg There's something to be said for pleasant surprises. Like those records that catch your world-weary, know-it-all ass sleeping and deliver a Big John Studd-style boot straight to your grill. Ya know... the defiant ones that overcome your precious preconceived notions to really make you feel like an asshole and force you to apologize to your friends for dissing it in the first place. Blueprint is one of those Columbus staples that I've been seeing first-at, then-in, area hip-hop shows for the last decade or so (word to the Groove Shack). And while its always been the voice that got you hooked, it was the science that often fell short of Newton, earning him the gong on more than a few occasions. And it was these early experiences, combined with a few other popular excuses floating around (RJ made Soul Position, so-and-so from Weightless is really bringing the "Midwestern Funk", he's just riding the Orphanage's coat tails, he's got a big fucking head) that all led the majority to catch some Z's while Printmatic steadily perfected his style, paid some dues, and now come correct on his Rhymesayers solo debut. What you say Hammer? Proper.

     » Rhymesayers Entertainment


February 20, 2006;/h3>

{     Vestal Watch     } watch is the last thing you might think of as you get ready for the day, and its understandable seeing as how small it is compared to the rest of your attire, but still some think your watch is what says the most about you. Honestly I believe there is a lot of truth to that, because, it shows your attention to detail, and overall care of your full appearance. Basically letting people know you went the extra mile to make your wrist go "Bling". Now picking out a watch can be a tedious task and can cost you anywhere from $5 on a street corner to $20,000. However, keep in mind when I say your watch says the most about you I didn't mean it in the terms that the more you spend the better impression it give off. I mean rappers spend tens of thousands on the biggest bulkiest watches known to man, but they can afford it, you can't. Hell you can spend $20,000 and still look like and act like an ass….Price shouldn't dictate your purchase or hold you back. Your pick should be a watch that best flows with your character and thanks to Vestal you can afford to get that perfect match.

     » Vestal Home Page

By Alex in Clothing

February 16, 2006;/h3>

{     Grafuck     } Well its arrived, I now have my Grubby mits on it!! muhahaha!! It's a book, It has design, It has sex....what more would you want? "Grafuck" is a new book published by newly formed husband-and-wife design team me, me (Fiel Valdez and Peter Vattanatham) which embrace and celebrates the individual artistic expression of everyones favourite subject - "SEX". From the whimsical to the delicate to the violent to the sensual, the work is as eclectic as the people who created it, with naughty illustrations from the likes of Airside, Anthony Burrill, Insect and Zip design gracing its pages. Its a real mish mash of styles, ranging from clean vector work to the downright dirty and lo-fi, but the subject matter does well to pull it all together into a very nicely presented end product. The book is is approx. 5”W x 7”H and has 128 pages, perfectly bound and printed in 4 colors throughout with matte varnish. Demand has been high and as a result are selling out all over the place - check out the site for information on local stockists. On an even sexier note, submissions have now opened for the second edition, so get busy...

     » Get Grafuck
     » Grafuck submissions


February 10, 2006;/h3>

{     Dewanatron: Irregular Hours at Pierogi 2000     }

It was a calm, beautiful, unseasonably warm Saturday evening in late January 2006 when a modest crowd gathered around a thick wood beam in the center of Pierogi 2000's main space in the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn. The walls of the space, painted turquoise, held instruments that looked like combinations of clocks, radios, replicas of buildings, violins, and elementary school classroom speakers. Some had lights, some had guitar string connecting top to bottom, all had knobs from amps past and present housed with beautiful precision in glowingly finished casings. Wires connected them all at the bottom. A 1950's sense of futurity combined with a clinical waspyness of New England, academic origin was the enveloping aesthetic. A performance of these odd objects was scheduled this fine evening and the crowd, wondering where it would come from and what sort of sounds would result, waited while dull but poignant tones volleyed back and forth between the works.

     » See Exotic Performing Electronic Music Instruments
     » Dewanatron: Irregular Hours at Pierogi 2000
     » Perrey and Kingsley


{     Mario Kart DS     } were the days. Mashed on hash, shooting round Super Mario Circuit with your college buddies on your SNES. So stoned the fact that you were playing on half a screen was good cos you couldn't open your eyes wide enough to take in the full TV. Alas, those days are over. You're buddies are all Al Bundied up and that old SNES just doesn't tickle the neurons like the latest consoles. That's why the DS with Super Mario DS is the greatest leap in gaming technology since the red throwing shell was invented. The real clincher is the WiFi enabled game play connecting you to the Interweb. You now have buddies on tap, you've got newbies who seem to hit every banana skin like they are aiming for them and super hereos who fly round the track like Ben Johnson on angel dust. All the classic tracks are there and winning stuff in solo mode bags you new players and karts. I've ditched my PS2 and doubt I'll ever go back to playing games on the TV. With the new designed DS on the way Nintendo are truely gonna be wearing the Gaming King Crown it so decisively deserves. Viva la Nintendo! Review by Mr. Griffin.

     » Buy it...


February 9, 2006;/h3>

{     13 search results for "Have you ever noticed how men" on Google.     }    

A Baker's Dozen

1. Have you ever noticed how men flex muscles and let the world know that they are in charge?

2. Have you ever noticed how men always seem to take Great glee in making fun of cats or pets in general?

3. Have you ever noticed how men tend to not listen and then just say something?

4. Have you ever noticed how men cannot sit in a bus or airplane seat (or elsewhere for that matter) with their legs together?

5. Have you ever noticed how men and women differ in their abilities to leave recorded communiqués?

6. Have you ever noticed how men are degraded (as people) on TV shows, movies and commercials?

7. Have you ever noticed how men keep track of their weight loss in pounds and women keep up with it in clothes sizes?

8. Have you ever noticed how men as a group think their women should be 'hot' looking?

9. Have you ever noticed how men are quite free to say what they find attractive in a woman (whether they're "legs" men or "boobs" men), yet women find it really embarrassing to say anything at all like that?

10. Have you ever noticed how men are at the root of so many horrid things? MENopause. MENstral cramps. MENtal breakdown. GUYnaecologist. HISterectomy.

11. Have you ever noticed how men behave a little strangely in public lavatories? Penis in the Half Shell.

12. Have you ever noticed how men use more sports analogies when talking business than women?

13. Have you ever noticed how men are like a bottle of champagne??? It's all sparkles and bubbles once you pop the cork...but, after you've had a few sips... it eventually goes dull and flat...till you pop another.


{     13 search results for "Have you ever noticed how women" on Google.     }    

A Baker's Dozen.

1. Have you ever noticed how women who drive expensive, well built (sturdy), typically German, luxury vehicles like the BMW X5 appear to have been given them by, presumably, their husbands in order to protect them from the consequences of being unable to drive a car?

2. Have you ever noticed how women with really low self-esteem PLASTER it on?

3. Have you ever noticed how women, when they look at themselves will say 'oh, I look fat' whereas most men look at themselves and go 'oh, look at how buff I'm looking today, grr'?

4. Have you ever noticed how women act when they outnumber men by a wide margin?

5. Have you ever noticed how women who think all Men are alike usually have no problem pointing out the differences between you and Tom Cruise?

6. Have you ever noticed how women often times stare at another woman, looking her up and down, not just to check out her shoes and clothes, but also to size her attributes up.

7. Have you ever noticed how women tell stories differently than men, sometimes in the way that details are recounted and sometimes where the storyteller stands in relation to the story?

8. Have you ever noticed how women get criticized for complaining all the time, but no one ever realizes how much we have to complain about?

9. Have you ever noticed how women wait until you're too weak to argue to ask such a question?

10. Have you ever noticed how women tend to have two aces up their sleeve?

11. Have you ever noticed how women get cold very easily even if the temperature is only 1 µC below optimum?

12. Have you ever noticed how Women always say that their husbands can't do anything?

13. Have you ever noticed how women in Europe have virtually no yeast infections, while even small grocery stores in the US seem to have entire vaginal ointment aisles?

Film & TV

February 7, 2006;/h3>

{     Godzilla - Final Wars     } to be the swansong of the Toho Godzilla oeuvre, Final Wars is ultimately so much more than that- it's a bombastic and hyperbolic homage, a messy postmodern love letter to kaiju film in general and Godzilla films specifically, and it's also one of the most iconoclastic entries the genre has ever seen. Credit here is due entirely to director Ryuhei Kitamura, whose unique vision informs every frame of the piece. Considered a controversial choice for helming this last and greatest of Godzilla films, Kitamura was known more for his effectiveness in manipulating miniscule budgets, strict deadlines and small ensemble casts to great effect than he was for handling huge-budget giant monster movies. In many ways, he's the Japanese analog of Peter Jackson or Sam Raimi; first making a name for himself with fascinatingly gory and twisted small-budget indie action films (Down to Hell, Versus, Alive, Aragami) before moving on to direct larger-budgeted effects-laden blockbusters. But this isn't just any movie property here, this is the Mean Green himself, adored by fans the globe over. Many feared that Kitamura wasn't up to the challenge, or that his insistence upon weird plot twists and smartass sci-fi would taint the final bow of The Big G.

     » Whiny-ass Amazon Reviews

Home & Beauty

February 4, 2006;/h3>

{     Law & Order: SVU Valentines     } I know there's a big part of you that wants to bite into the ironic cookie that is the yearly trip to the local drug store to pick up cheese-tastic Rainbow Brite or Ninja Turtles Valentine's Day cards, but let's face it: you're an adult now, things are different and it's time to hand over something that says, "I'm a big kid now and I cook things that aren't frozen first." Plus hipster irony is so 2005, and it's 2006 you Cobrasnake you - time to move into the grownups domain of V-Day cards, and your pal and our chum Brandon Bird is here to help you through this difficult transition.

     » SVU Valentines
     » Brandon Bird's web fantasy


February 2, 2006;/h3>

{     Michel De Broin Shared Propulsion Car     }

Picture this: You're standing at a cross walk on an otherwise normal day waiting for the light to change. You hear some giggling, some commotion, and an odd rattling. You turn and see what appears to be a 1986 Buick Regal. But it's different. The paint job is mostly gone. The whole thing looks like it could fall apart at any second. And there isn't the familiar sound of an engine idling. The giggling continues as the light changes. You stare as the car slowly moves away. It creaks; squeaks, and you swear you hear sounds that usually come from a bicycle. What you have probably just seen is Quebecois artist Michel De Brion with his friends in "Shared Propulsion Car".

"Shared Propulsion Car" is a 1986 Buick Regal whose engine, transmission, suspension, and electrical system have been replaced by 4 independent pedal and gear works. With a sophisticated transmission mechanism that coordinates the efforts of the passengers so the car can move efficiently it is capable of reaching speeds of around 15 km an hour.

     » Michel De Broin
     » Shared Propulsion Car
     » Zoo Magazine

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