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December 30, 2005;/h3>

{     Jellio Turbo     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/12/turbo_lg7-thumb.jpg This may look like a simple snap-off sheet for one of those muscle car model kits from Revel that we all played with as a kid, but furniture-maker Jellio has blown it up to nearly four foot square so that it can be hung on your wall! The details look perfect and the idea is another on my list of stuff that makes me angry I didn't think of it first. It's crazy expensive and thus out of most adult-kids' reaches, but it's still so rad that it has to be mentioned. There are only ten being made and they're selling for $2,500, so if you want one you've gotta act fast. Further, while checking the piece out at their site, don't miss their other child-like furniture offerings like the Rubik's Cube-based table... Pretty rad.

     » Check it at Jellio

Twelves

December 24, 2005;/h3>

{     12 "Cliffhanger" Lines from R.Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" Parts 1-12     }    

WARNING: Serious Spoilers Below!

Chapter 1: "Now he's opening the closet."
c.2: "I can't believe its a man!"
c.3: " ... a man picks up the phone."
c.4: "Oh my god, a rubber!"
c.5: "... the policeman that stopped you."
c.6: "... then all of a sudden, pow."
c.7: "...it's Rosie the nosy neighbor."
c.8: "...somebody is still right there in his home."
c.9: "...what I'm about to tell you is so damn twisted, not only is a man in the cabinet, but the man is a midget."
c.10: "...Twan and Sylvester are sniffin' around, tryin' to figure out, 'What's that smell?' As they turn and look at each other like, 'What the hell?'"
c.11: "...the midget the baby's daddy."
c.12: "...that ho was me."

(Thank you Wikipedia. And R. Kelly. And God. For R. Kelly.)

Live

December 22, 2005;/h3>

{     Sunn O))) at The Knitting Factory New York City 12.21.05     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/12/Sunn%20O%29%29%29-thumb.jpg

The transit strike, in full effect here in New York City, forced me to get a bike yesterday after walking 78 blocks in the 20-degree weather at 8am to get to work. It also almost led me to flake on the tickets I bought to see tonight's Sunn O))) show at the Knitting Factory. But I couldn't miss possibly the most unique sound in extreme music today, no matter what the state of the subways. So at 9:45pm I left 108th and Broadway.

Worried I'd be late I zoomed down Central Park West, through Columbus Circle, across 54th to 5th down past Rockefeller Center, over to Park Avenue, through Union Square, to Broadway and from there all the way down to Church and Leonard. Man was it cold. My fingers: scalded icicles under my gloves, my legs: boiling jello. Time check: 10:20. Phew! I made it on time. I was psyched. I locked my bike up, removed the seat and went inside.


     » Sunn O)))

Twelves

{     Top 12 2005     }    

01) Wolf Parade - Apologies To The Queen Mary
02) Test Icicles - For Screening Purposes Only
03) Lightning Bolt - Hypermagic Mountain
04) Tom Vek - We Have Sound
05) Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
06) Gang Gang Dance - God's Money
07) Songs Of Green Pheasant
08) Animal Collective - Feels
09) Black Mountain
10) Konono No. 1 - Congotronics
11) Serena Maneesh
12) Akron/Family

Contributed by Tony Boggs

Music

December 19, 2005;/h3>

{     Eliot Lipp "Tacoma Mockingbird" LP     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/12/eliotlipp-thumb.jpg So Swayzack comes over with all these bootleg out-takes from the early star wars films and there's this scene where they end up in what looks like a government subsidized housing complex for Jawa's. They pan from a shot of the sky and it's multiple suns down to a close up of the glowing eye of a Jawa. Then the camera pulls back to reveal the Jawa is riding in this ridiculously pimped sandcrawler with like a hundred other Jawas hanging out the side and their all bobbing up and down like gangstas, throwin' signs and drinking some Tatooine version of syzurp (of course all the colors were mad saturated like a Hype Willams video). All this madness is backed by the most ridiculous blend of hip-hop beats and synthesizers I've ever heard, I mean that shit just oozed g-funk and the future at the same time. I just kept thinking "damn, I wish I knew what the fuck this shit is so I could cop the CD".Then Swayzack leans in and says "that Eliot Lipp motherfucker couldn't have made a better sound track to that scene, he's like the idiot savant child of DJ Shadow and Bob Moog!" and I'm all like "yeah, I have all his early 12" singles" hoping he doesn't call me out on slipping. When Swayzack leaves I immediately run to the nearest record shop and buy the fuck out of "Tacoma Mockingbird" and so should you. Friends don't let friends get caught slippin'.

     » Get more info on Eliot here.

By Jesse in Music
Other

December 16, 2005;/h3>

{     Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/12/googlewhacked-thumb.jpgDave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure is a DVD, a comedy show and a book. In which Mr Gorman takes you through a hilarious period of his life where things get terribly (or exhilaratingly) out of control. His Googlewhack Adventure is a series of extreme coincidences which lead to Dave traveling a bzillion miles around the globe, meeting a bunch downright odd people, and ending up stoney broke and having suffered a nervous breakdown. So, what on earth is a Googlewhack?

     » DaveGorman.com
     » Interview (Pixelsurgeon)
     » Buy it (only available on Amazon UK)

Art

{     Sam Gibbons Hunter College MFA Thesis Show     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/12/Sam%20Gibbons%20Thesis%20Installation-thumb.jpg

Did you know that there are only 10 "true" Rorschach inkblots? Yep. It's totally true. What's more, psychologists have kept these "true" inkblots a mystery since they were developed in the early 20th century. That's right: any Rorschach you see in a book or on the Internet is actually an imitation. Hermann Rorschach who developed the test to evaluate the personalities of his subjects insisted it stay that way to maintain statistical consistency as well as to elicit spontaneous reactions.

I think New York based artist Sam Gibbons might have seen the real things because it appears as though he's trying to give us his versions of them. For Gibbons though it's translated through forms derived from early Tex Avery and Walt Disney cartoons.

Gibbons, an MFA candidate at Hunter College, is currently part of the MFA Fine Art Thesis exhibit at the program's gallery on West 41st St. in Manhattan. There you can see two variations on his Cartoon Rorschach's and other work related but not so tidily cooped in the test's visual parameters.

In an approximately 9-foot cube of space using balsa wood and MDF board he has painstakingly recreated one of his images dimensionally. Ghost elephants with Swiss cheese multi-eyes tugging on their intestines look down on a pink porky looking creature in a space saucer of the same color with wings. He is the central character. A witch and a button eyed pig with spiky teeth flank him with their regular eyed partner who speaks a skull symbol out of a thought balloon closest to the center. Below a tree stump grounds the scene in a forest setting while bunnies gaze up eating carrots. Around him numerous curious creatures participate perplexingly. In the foreground a dopey, baby blue character is shot in the back of the head by an arm with no body.

While the amazing array of characters and forms are spread out within the space they remain the thickness of the Balsa and MDF thus resisting a sculptural read. Instead it looks like a theatrical set or an amusement park ride minus the space to maneuver. The lighting, which comes from behind some of the forms while being cast from the front in others, adds to this effect giving it all a vivid glow.


     » Hunter College Art Galleries
     » Sam Gibbon's work on Claire Oliver Gallery's website

Art

December 15, 2005;/h3>

{     StART MOBILE     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/12/hambotstartmobile-thumb.bmpThe thing about this current movement towards accessibility in art (call it Platform Art, Pervasive Art, Lowbrow, No-brow, whatever....) is that there's lots of folks involved, and lots of work to consider, all crossing over from the traditional formats of painting and design/illustration into just about every area of our daily lives. So it's out there, yeah, but is it good? Is it making things better? Is it done right? I can safely say that StART MOBILE have got all the bases covered, and one look at their hugely ambitious gallery page will clue you in that they've left no stone unturned in their quest to brighten up that most necessary of evils, the cellular telephone. Offering thousands of background wallpapers from hundreds of artists, StART MOBILE are giving you the chance to pimp your phone with some wicked custom material, at a mere buck-ninety-nine a pop. The list of participants is ginormous, and includes CrownDozen faves Hambot (pictured here), Braveland, Mars-1, Tara McPherson, Yumiko Kayukawa, Aesthetic Apparatus, Meomi, Fawn Gehweiler, kozyndan, Friends With You, and Regular Product, and that's just scratching the tip of the iceberg! You can also find pieces from luminaries Sheperd Fairey, Tim Biskup and David Choe; there really is something (or several things) here for damn near everybody. Click through the link below to see what I'm on about, and while you're soaking in the massive scope and range of material covered, take a moment to notice that each artist is propped with a mini-Bio and links to their respective websites. Big-ups to StART MOBILE for making sure everybody gets their due!

     » StARTMOBILE.com

Music

{     Maurice Fulton "every damn thing he's ever done" 12" and LP     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/11/maurice-thumb.jpg You're a writer. You're an artist. Fuck it, if you do anything even remotely creative I'm sure you've thought "what other people create is not relevant to what I create", but there's always that one person who paints, writes, plays backgammon, takes pictures of his neighbors shitting during the solstice... whatever it is you're into, that one person, in your heart of hearts, is a yardstick to which you compare yourself to. If "whatever you're into" is house music or making intelligent people shake their asses, then go out and buy anything with Maurice Fulton on it and be taken down a notch yet inspired at the same time.

     » Wanna learn more about Maurice?

Notice

{     C12 Gift Guide     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/12/cmascheese-thumb.jpg Just a quick note to tell everyone that all the authors at CrownDozen.com put together a retina-sizzling little Gift Guide for you to check out! That's right, we made a list and... you know the rhyme. We'll be adding to it as the days roll past up until the big morning, so be sure to bookmark it and check back once in a while... Enjoy, and thanks for reading! http://CrownDozen.com/GiftGuide Happy Holidays Yall, from the kids at CrownDozen.com!

By Garrett in Notice
Reading

December 8, 2005;/h3>

{     Behind the Beat     }    

behindbeat.jpg Ever see the inner sleeve of the Main Ingredient will all those pictures of Pete Rock’s home studio? What about the inner sleeve of Washing Machine with that ill photo of Thurston’s record collection? How about that photo of a pre-weight loss Questlove on that rickety-ass ladder, dropping library science by all his shit in that big ass bookshelf? Or what about the beginning of the Netty’s Girl video with Mike D lounging back at G-Son with that crazy-ass painting of that dog? Man, I always loved that shit! Like pulling back the curtain on some Wizard of Oz shit, seeing where all the math gets down. I thought I was alone with this fascination, so imagine my surprise when I casually picked up a copy of Behind the Beat… it transformed my ass, Altered Beast-style ( I could almost here that motherfucker welcoming me to my doom). Its one of those jawdroppers where as soon as you start flipping through the pages, its considered money spent. Smackin your ass silly like a flower pot on your head. Gorgeous photography probing such legendary mythical lairs as Madlib’s Hideaway, Shadow’s Reconstruction (motherfucker has a Tempest machine!) and Automator’s Glue Factory… this shit goes on and on proving that somebody definitely did their homework on this joint. Premier, Cut Chemist and the Beatminerz all show-off the places we nobodies wish could get into if only we were somebodies. While I may have to skip a few meals due to the hefty price tag ($30), Behind the Beat reduced me back to being 12 years old, clocking Playboys in the back of Waldenbooks. Shit is krazy glue!

     » I spent 30 but here's where you can spend 20

Music

December 6, 2005;/h3>

{     Kerrier District (Luke Vibert) "Disco" LP     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/11/kerrier-thumb.jpg So I find this lantern and I'm all like "Fuck it! I'm gonna rub this shit!" and POOF! a genie pops out but he's all "Times are tuff, I can't give you three wishes, you only get one. So, go ahead, I don't have all day." Now most people would say some shit like "world peace" or "cure for cancer", but me, I'm like "give me an entire album of the best fuckin' house music I've heard in ages." and guess what? I got my wish bitches!

     » Listen to Kerrier District here.

Clothing

December 4, 2005;/h3>

{     Braveland - Winter '05 Line     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/12/bravelandsweat22553-thumb.JPGThere's something about Winter that brings out the primal in me. Maybe it's that ancestral urge for survival that kicks in once nature moves from passive to aggressive, the realization that if you don't stay warm, you just might die. It makes my fur grow thicker and my hide toughen-up as my inner Yeti is awakened. Braveland's Winter clothing line has undergone a similar transformation, offering up protection from the elements with signature style in the form of three new crew-sweatshirts, two hoodies and a couple of wicked knit beanies. Witness the Giant Octopus hoodie pictured here- it's a suckerpunch of pulp-action style, and I'm glad to finally see someone offering up a decently deco-ed hoodie that doesn't pander to that tired-ass graffitti/street aesthetic. It's got an almost Cthonic cool, a Marianas Trench-deepness that sets it apart from the usual. In the crew department, my fave piece is the Camp Beneath the Stars design. With it's offest camp-fire print on the right-side sleeve, and the werewolf logo appearing as a constellation in the night sky above a lonely wilderness campground laid out on the chest, it's got all the unique style I've come to expect from Braveland, rendered in a subdued palette on quality materials. The knit beanies provide excellent skull-coverage in two different designs; Full Moon Wolf and Lake Monster, both with detailed embroidered logos on a cotton/acrylic blend. Staying warm has never looked this good.

     » Braveland Online Store

By Adam in Clothing
Clothing

December 3, 2005;/h3>

{     GIN GIN     }    

MeganModel_2.jpgRecently there has been an upsurge of hand made products available online. Sure we'll always have things like Amazon.com to go to when we need a drill bit and the newest Madonna Cd, but what I think really makes the internet great is all of the personality that is brought to the table by closet industries. Take Gin-Gin.com for example. Looking for a gift for your girlfriend (or in my case my mom)? Looking for a last minute holiday gift for a friend who appreciates quality and has no interest in looking like everyone else? Send em to Gin-Gin for great jewlery. We should all do our part to encourage this kind of business to survive. If you don't have the time to go to your local funky boutiques, and you are wary of buying gifts on EBAY.. do yourself a favor and check this out. (also make sure to check out her friends page for links to other great online boutiques) - Contributed by Dustin: DustinAmeryHostetler.com

     » gin-gin.com

Music

{     Audion "suckfish"     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/12/audion-thumb.gif So I haven’t taken acid in like seven years, but every once in a while I’ll be sitting all alone and just kinda fixate on something. Slowly but surely that infamous wavering of patterns begins, followed by the mind imposing shapes and images into those patterns and before I know it it’s almost like I’m tripping again. Well the other night I got this book of optical illusions and on this one page was this “spiral, not spiral” pattern and I start staring into the center of it. I notice that the center starts to rotate and all the concentric rings around the center start spinning in the opposite direction. The colors slowly start shifting from yellow to blue to pink and this sense of depth starts to form. I feel as though I may be pulled into the book but instead of fear I feel this overwhelming desire to dance. So I’m just sitting with this book in my lap, staring at this image, bobbing my head and then from nowhere I start to hear the sound of a million robots becoming sentient at the same time. It’s a bit abrasive yet beautiful and moving at the same time and fills me with a positive tension similar to the moment before ejaculation. Just as i think I may have fallen too deep into this hallucination a hole opens in the center of the image and out pops an Audion CD with a little post-it note on it that says “you win!”.

     » check out Spectral for more Audion

Games

{     Meteos (DS)     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/12/meteos-thumb.jpg The puzzle game has always been a perfect fit for handheld game systems. Tetris, the preeminent console puzzler, made the original Game Boy a must-own for folks who never gave a second thought to video games (remember the Father's Day ads?). A good puzzle game is so simple it can be fully understood within minutes of turning it on. That's why there are only two major types: the kind where shit falls from the sky and the kind where you rearrange shit that's already there. We don't even need to be told the rules: somehow we just know that three of a kind or a full row is good and that we need to clear this shit out of the way as soon as possible. The distinguishing characteristics between two examples of the puzzle genre are in the physics of how one goes about clearing this randomly colored bric-a-brac off the screen. Shit falls from the sky in Meteos, but the gameplay has more in common with rearrangement games like Panel de Pon or Bejeweled. There are colored blocks, and you put them in order. Yep, three in a row is good. Line up three of the same color and the bricks ignite like a bottle rocket, firing skywards. Because this is a DS game you'll use the stylus for this. The trick is you can only move the bricks up and down. The bricks you launch into space will fall into the screen of other players (or the computer players) in keeping with the "story" of Meteos in which adorable little 2-dimensional critters throw bricks at each other across space.

     » Buy it...

Twelves

December 2, 2005;/h3>

{     "Dizzy" Lizzy Rachtman's Top 12 Metal Releases of 2005     }    

1. Napalm Death "The Code is Red…Long Live the Code"
2. Darkest Hour "Undoing Ruin"
3. Chimaria (self titled)
4. Exodus "Shovel Headed Kill Machine"
5. Arch Enemy "Doomsday Machine"
6. High on Fire "Blessed Black Wings"
7. Municipal Waste "Hazardous Mutation"
8. Goblin Cock "Bagged and Boarded"
9. Nightrage "Descent into Chaos"
10. Facedown "The Will to Power"
11. Opeth "Ghost Reveries"
12. Fantomas "Suspended Animation"

Toys

December 1, 2005;/h3>

{     Kozik's Smokin' Joe     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/12/smokinjoe-thumb.jpgWho the fuck's Joe? If you're a collectible toy buyer, or like me a collectible toy voyeur, you will probably have seen this little fellow without even realizing it. No, still no idea, well he's the mascot of the online store Ningyoushi.com. Check it out you'll see the little guy up in the top left and you'll say "Oh yeah, I remember now". So who the fuck's Smokin' Joe? Well I'm glad you asked cos he's got a darn fine introduction on the back of the box.

     » Buy Smokin' Joe (black)
     » Buy Smokin' Joe (white)
     » Buy regular Joe (black)

Music

{     Exodus "Shovel Headed Kill Machine"     }    

http://www.crowndozen.com/main/archives/upload/2005/11/Exodus%20Shovel%20Headed%20Kill%20Machine-thumb.jpg

After last year's "Tempo of the Damned" was released heads turned and ears perked. Thrash masters Exodus had spat a boiling bullet of yellow goo at the world. It kept eye patch salesmen in business better than a pirate convention at a shooting range, but a fluke of rare brilliance was collectively suspected given their on again off again behavior in the nineties. Things fell apart quickly proving detractors right.

Even though most of the members were victims of bad life choices and/or circumstances beyond their control (R.I.P. Paul Baloff) the name carried on. Exodus resurfaced a year later with one original member and an album full of the ole thumpety thump that led them to power back when Kirk Hammett was still in the band (and well before he became Some Kind Of therapy addicted pink boy).

This year Exodus is Paul Bostaph (Dave Lombardo's understudy in Slayer) machine gunning the cylinders, Rob Dukes squarling venom out of the pit of his testes like Suicidaam the Werewolf: Code Red Detainee at Abu Cheney, with Dr's. Gary "The Survivor" Holt and Lee "Heathen" Altus prescribing hard fast doses of meth-adamantium to all the twitchy riff addicts.

"I Am Abomination", "Raze," and "Karma's Messenger" completely wreck. Hear those wings whooshing behind you? Duck! That's Bay Area Thrash getting ready to fly betwixt thine rosey hindflaps.


     » ExodusAttack
     » Buy


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