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Twelves

December 31, 2003;/h3>

{     Reccomendacious Readings     }    

1. Geek Love -Katherine Dunn
2. Glue -Irvine Welsh
3. If On a Winter's Night a Traveller... -Italo Calvino
4. Snow Crash -Neal Stephenson
5. Sarah -J.T. Leroy a.k.a. Terminator
6. Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them -Al Franken
7. Naked -David Sedaris
8. Ego Trip's: Book of Rap Lists (shout out- Dirty Dean of Discipline)
9. Survivor -Chuck Palahnuik
10. Schock Value -John Waters
11. Pale Fire -Vladimir Nabokov
12. All Families Are Psychotic -Douglas Coupland

Toys

December 30, 2003;/h3>

{     Transformers UNICRON Action Figure     }    

The 80's brought us many wonderful things, but none perhaps more spectacular than the Transformers phenomenon. Okay, there was that whole "fall of the Berlin Wall" thing and I guess the Smiths put out some pretty good records, but in the universe of 80's kid's toys the Transformers reigned supreme. The 1986 animated feature Transformers: The Movie was the series' swan song. We saw the death of several long-standing characters and the introduction of the most powerful Transformer ever- Unicron. Taking either the form of a giant planet devouring moon or a mile-high robot, Unicron was pure evil and wanted only to consume and control every particle of energy in the universe. Voiced by the late Orson Welles, Unicron was an imposing figure who could only be defeated by the combined efforts of Autobots and Decepticons. The movie left thousands drooling for a toy based on Unicron, but the cost of production and a decline in the popularity of the toy and cartoon line kept it from becoming a reality. Until now. 17 years later, Unicron has been ressurrected.

     » Hot Pics and More Info

     » Buy it...

Games

December 24, 2003;/h3>

{     Prince of Persia: The Sands Of Time (XBox)     }    

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, gets my vote for best video game of 2003. It takes everything I liked about the Tomb Raider series, and improves upon it tenfold. I mention that fallen angel of a game series, only because it's the same type of game at heart. Block and jumping puzzles mixed with a healthy amount of combat, and a dash of exploration. If you liked Tomb Raider, like I did, then you will lose your mind playing POP. This game lets you rewind time when you mess up, a feature I've never seen before. Bar-none the greatest video game feature since the continue became the industry standard. The graphics are top par, exactly what I've come to expect from Ubisoft, who's previous game Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell had the best graphics I'd ever witnessed. Add in an slick and amazing combat system, silk smooth character movements and controls, and a flawless control interface, and you have a game that rival developers will be hard pressed to top in 2004.

     » Buy it...

Reading

December 22, 2003;/h3>

{     jane magazine     }    

i really like this magazine, and i'm not the kind of person who reads magazines all the time... in fact, i was totally against buying a girly magazine until my boyfriend picked up a copy in the local grocery one day... i laughed and made comments all the way home but decided to take a peak so i could possibly entertain myself even more with what he might be reading about... but instead of quickly glancing over a couple of articles, i found myself immersed in every single page... sure, it's got the typical interview with a celebrity column every issue asking them who they'd like to make out with right now, but the celebrity is usually someone really cool like google(jennifer tilly) or google(cillian murphy).... and every issue they get people like kevin smith to answer stupid questions from readers like december's "my first kiss with this guy was awful. do i give him another chance?"

     » buy it

Twelves

{     stak ov 12 4 2003     }    

The Microphones- Mount Eerie
Cat Power- You Are Free
Iran- The Moon Boys
Vitaminsforyou- I'm Sorry Forever & Always
Vacuous Ninnies- Vacuous Ninnies
The Rapture- Echoes
Dizzee Rascal- Boy In Da Corner
Radiohead- Hail To The Thief
Broken Social Scene- You Forget It In People
So- So
The Books- the Lemon of Pink
Sufjan Stevens- Greetings From Michigan...

Contributed by Tony Boggs

Film & TV

December 19, 2003;/h3>

{     24-Season One DVD collection     }    

24 is such an amazing show, that, well, it hurts to think about it at times. One season consists of 24 one-hour episodes, that when watched back-to-back, reveal the events of an entire day. Actually, due mainly to the fact that we live in an entirely commerce-based society, the episodes run 45 minutes so that you can see another bad series of country music speckled truck commercials, and the like...but I digress. Basically the plot centers around CTU Special Agent Jack Bauer (Keifer Sutherland), his family, and co-workers. The quality of the program is less television and more cinematic in nature. The reason I say this, is that, for a network t.v. show, 24 is jaw-droppingly brutal and quite intense. This show pulls no punches whatsoever. People get shot, stabbed, kidnapped, raped, and beaten. Men curse and women cry, it's everything I've ever wanted out of t.v. and more.

     » Buy it...

Games

December 18, 2003;/h3>

{     Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy (Xbox)     }    

The Xbox version of the sequel to Jedi Outcast, is pretty fun. You get to choose your race and saber color, in the beginning. See, you are a student at the Jedi Academy on Yavin, taught by Luke Skywalker and Kyle Kattarn. And guess what...somehow there are still Imperial Stormtroopers to kill. They always say something really cute, like, "Hold it right there." or "You're under arrest." right before you slash their arm off and send them to the ground. Due to past military experience, I rather enjoy killing the Imperial Officers, but this isn't a therapy session. Academy was a really fun game (although l thought the plot was way better in Knights of the Old Republic). The puzzles seem easier than the predecessor, but the force powers and special moves are really tricked out this time around. Multiplyer is decent, with lots of fun characters to play as such as Lando and Boba Fett. I've yet to try out the Xbox Live content, but when I do, I'll change this text accordingly. All in all, this game is a fitting sequel. I'd say it's about a hundred times better than that piece of shit Obi Wan game they put out. But it's more of a rental than a purchase, if you've got a few days with nothing better to do. May the force be with Jew.... Written by: Bryan L.

     » Buy it...

Film & TV

December 17, 2003;/h3>

{     Bad Santa     }    

Oh my..... um.... when the commercial says "it makes no compromises," it ain't no joke.... um... out of all the movies ever made, this is one of the very few that i personally believe you probably shouldn't let your kids see- until they're at least 25... or maybe 26... this was quite possibly the most vulgar, sick, twisted, but delightfully funny film i may have ever seen... really you say??? YES!!! when you go to see it, or rent it, or whatever... just remember, the sweetest gift you could ever give anyone is a wooden pickle covered in your own dried brown blood from where you cut yourself making it... And the most heartfelt gift would be a stuffed pink elephant left on the doorstep of the recipient while you lay there waiting to give it to him with several bullet holes through your middle.... that's all i'll say about that.... 2 wooden pickles up for Bad Santa... Contributed by: Stacy Broce

     » just watch it

Twelves

December 16, 2003;/h3>

{     Fuckit, 12 More Discs     }    

1. Colder "Again"
2. Metric "Old World Underground"
3. Grandaddy "Sumday"
4. The Shins "Chutes Too Narrow"
5. Ms. John Soda "No P or D"
6. T. Raumschmiere "Radio Blackout"
7. Mu "Afro Finger and Gel"
8. Flaming Lips "Ego Tripping EP"
9. Kill Bill OST
10. Crystal Method "Legion of Boom"
11. The Thrills "So Much for the City"
12. Dizzee Rascal "Boy in the Corner"

Art

{     Bombing Science     }    

Face it, if you're not in NYC or San Fran or some place similar, your access to proper, shall we say "street art", supplies is pretty limited. Like, to sharpies and spraypaint. That is, unless you order from some place far, far away. So, lemme tell you kids, the best place to be gettin' all your ink sticks is just a quick click away, and that place is Bombing Science. They have got your shit. Huh? Yeah, they got 'em. What? Yeah, that too. Whazzat? Fo' sho', in 5 colors! And silver too. They've got your Mini Pumps, your Wides, Montanas, and all the good Pilots and Unis. And inks. And nibs. And tips. All those supplies, and they've even got shirts, books, vids, and more. The stuff is cheap, they ship fast, and if you run into a snag on the site, they're helpful too!

     » Hook it up

Twelves

December 15, 2003;/h3>

{     CDs for My Stocking     }    

1. Missy Elliott "This is Not a Test"
2. Explosions in the Sky "Earth Is Not a Cold Dead Place"
3. Plastikman "Closer"
4. Jay-Z "The Black Album"
5. Unicorns "Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?"
6. Zoot Woman S/T
7. Air "Talkie Walkie"
8. Hella "Hold Your Horse Is"
9. Black Eyes S/T
10. Mclusky "Mclusky Do Dallas"
11. New Pornographers "Electric Version"
12. Lightning Bolt "Wonderful Rainbow"

Reading

{     Readymade Magazine     }    

Unlike every other magazine out there that just looks good and shows you cool stuff you can buy, Readymade magazine looks great and shows you cool stuff you can make, and then how to make it. Usually on the cheap. Following the instructions in the mag, I've bought better tools, made a vinyl wallet, crafted an all-zipper pouch keychain thing, organized my kitchen, made some cool lights, whipped up some decent crapin the kitchen, and soon am going to be making my girl a Lite-Brite coffee table, or maybe a mean-ass socktopus. A subscription is $20 online, but if you grab the mag at the store ($4.95), you can usually use one of those silly postcard litter papers for a better deal, or maybe even get a free t-shirt.

     » Get some Readymade

Home & Beauty

December 12, 2003;/h3>

{     Jesus Ashtray     }    

So, you've tried everything else, smoking ultra-lights just made you move up to 2 packs a day, hypnotism broke the zipper on your jeans, and you just can't afford the time off work for a coma, so just maybe the sad, teary, tortured face of Jesus might help you finally kick the Camels. Short of snake-handling, nothing else is hated in church more than a guy who sparks a smoke right after a good prayer. So if you want to make sure you can handle the next 4-hymn gospel block without making a run for the fire exit (meaning Hell), maybe this might do the trick: the lord himself in your ashtray, reminding you that "Jesus Hates It When You Smoke." Face it, nobody makes you feel guilty like Jesus, and for $12, at least you might only smoke 17 cigs a day instead of an even pack'a'20, right?

     » Salvation, this'a way!


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