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February 20, 2008

{     SUCK UK • Spring o8'     }    


With one less commercial holiday down, I’m sure you’re likely suffering from Post Traumatic Holiday Disorder syndrome. You either tried to give your baby’s momma a glorious trinket of your affection or maybe you crashed and burned with the recycled shoe rack gift. Either way, the mad scientists (ala Dr. Emmett Brown) have invented some new “doo-hickeys” and “whatcha-macall-its” to help ease the transition from being over run with the unimaginative, manipulative, and shallow interpretation of romance day also known as Valentine’s Day

So scenario number one is that you may have forgotten Valentine’s Day all together. Hey, not all of us remember to turn on the morning dreck that obscures the news while commemorating a corporate induced holiday. For this, you have a number of new inventions at SUCK UK to aid you. First: their revolutionary Wooden Postcard. With this lovely piece of lumber at your disposal you can easily write your sorrowful message with a dull object (such as your car key or former house key before the locks were changed due to your absent mindedness). After carving your message, send it on out to the destined person in waiting. But remember, you only get one draft with this postcard, Hemmingway.

Scenario number two revolves around the idea that your loving plea via the Wooden Postcard has ended up amongst the ashes of your once proud fireplace. You must now declare what property is yours before the legal process leaves you with just the shirt on your back. What better way to label your stuff then with SUCK UK’s new Message Tape. Based off the principle that we understand and appreciate the art of digital numbers and letters, the Message Tape only requires two things: 1. The marker to shade in the unused portions of the tape message. & 2. The tape message in mind. The tape actually comes with the marker in question so you really only need to suffer one indignity here and come up with the appropriate message.

Scenario number three involves the idea that perhaps you read the Valentine’s Day handbook and made out all right. A few bottles of the bubbly and a night of drunken passes have landed you with the mother of all hangovers. What to do. Well, start off with an uptake of H2O, chugging bottle after bottle relentlessly until you are once again fully hydrated. After your regret for over indulgence is swimming in that man made lake you call your stomach, be sure to apply the SUCK UK Dr. Cool Ice Pack. This beastie will take some of the morning regret from your head, and for those of you instructionally challenged it actually shows you how to properly apply this pack ON the bag (complete with relief face after application).

SUCK UK has proven time and time again their originality and overall enjoyable creations are worth the cash and the interest. Be sure to look them up properly and give them some business. Click the link below and check them out.



Wow. Some of the stuff they've got coming down the pipe is absolutely amazing. That glow-spray for luminescent graffiti is some Back to the Future 2 shit, I'm blown away. They've got a lot of astounding stuff dropping soon.
Those Smoking Mittens totally gross me out though. Bleeaaaagh!
I notice a lot of their gear is a bit pricey, and I'm wondering if it's because they're UK based and we're paying some import cost...

Posted by: Adam at February 22, 2008 1:12 AM
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