December 30, 2007

{     12 Types of Nipples     }    

1) Bologna
2) Silver Dollars
3) Pepperoni ('Ronis)
4) Blind Pigs
5) Bubble Gum
6) Muffin Tops (aka Smurf Houses)
7) Puffles
8) Dipples
9) Pencil Erasers
.....a) Tart 'N Tinys
.....b) Lincoln Logs (aka Hot Dogs)
10) Candy Buttons
11) Fade-outs (aka Ghosts)
12) Crunchberries

Click "read on" for descriptions of each.

1) Bologna - When the areola covers nearly the entire circumference of the tay-tay.

2) Silver Dollars - No nip, all areola.

3) Pepperoni ('Ronis) - Unusually bumpy or puckered, often with a strangely ridged edge.

4) Blind Pigs - Low-slung nips with a jutting or pointed snout, facing off-kilter directions.

5) Bubble Gum - Looks like they been chewed on by Dobermans, a lot.

6) Muffin Tops (aka Smurf Houses) - When the areola and nipple form a smooth swollen cap at the end of the bazonga.

7) Puffles - Puffles are like double Muffin Tops; when the areola and nipple are both swole up for a "stacked-on-top-of-each-other" puffy torpedo look.

8) Dipples - Them shits be concave.

9) Pencil Erasers - Perfectly cylindrical tips, roughly the size and color of their namesake.

.....a) Tart 'N Tinys - A variation on Pencil Erasers, only much much smaller and cuter.

.....b) Lincoln Logs (aka Hot Dogs) - Another Pencil Eraser variation, but much longer, often extending 1/2 inch or more, the "outie" of the nippleverse.

10) Candy Buttons - Unobtrusive, shiny hard pellets, daring you to press them.

11) Fade-outs (aka Ghosts) - When you're not sure where the areola ends and the boob-meat begins.

12) Crunchberries - Look just like the ones Cap'n Crunch gots in his cereal.