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September 13, 2007

{     HATE to love / LOVE to hate     }    

HATE to love
6. The O.C. on DVD
5. Robin Thicke
4. Xbox 360
3. Sausage McGriddles
2. Friday Night Lights
1. Dragon Dynasty

LOVE to hate
6. Carlos Mencia
5. Cloverfield
4. Texas (the State)
3. Poker Dudes
2. C.S.A. The Movie
1. Cuba Gooding Jr.

Click "Read on" to find out why....

HATE to love
6. The O.C. on DVD
Saccharine teen drama set along the ridiculously wealthy Cali coast- What's there to like? Honestly, I don't know. I'm not sure why this show works, or why I've watched every episode. If I had a gun to my head and somebody forced me to explain, I'd probably just mumble something about how Peter Gallagher's eyebrows look like caterpillars, and I watched 4 seasons hoping one day they'd go into cocoons.
5. Robin Thicke
I'm not much for whiteboy R&B falsetto, but Cocaine proved that the kid had chops and balls to spare, despite being the offspring of one of Hollywood's least hip alumni. The rest of the album just grew on me.
4. Xbox 360
I'm a Nintendo diehard and a Mac purist, so I never thought I'd find myself lusting after a Microsoft spawned game console. The original Xbox did an excellent job of making it easy to hate- it's bulky controllers, glitchy console and X-treme ad branding all let me easily resist any charm it might have possessed. But with Sony floundering and Nintendo concentrating on wand-waggling, the Xbox 360 has emerged as the only real next-gen option for someone interested in playing beautiful, gritty, mature-oriented video games. Sigh.
3. Sausage McGriddles
I actually worked on the test-marketing data collection for this McDonald's sandwich before it went national. We were forced to read three paragraphs of ad-copy describing the flavor and appeal of the McGriddle before asking respondents to rate their interest in what is essentially two cinnamon-maple pancakes with a sausage pattie tucked in-between. It sounded disgusting, a fast-food Frankenstein's monster. Then someone gave me one for free, I took a bite, and it all made sense.
2. Friday Night Lights
I hate Texas (see below), I hate football, I hated high school, and I hated Texas high school football more than you can possibly imagine. But somehow I'm drawn to this show. Maybe I just feel like I need to understand, and FNL gives me a window into that world that allows me to observe without being forced to interact. The characters probably just seem more real to me because I actually knew people like that. Hell, the Texas town I lived in could be a stand-in for Dillon. Is it possible to be this nostalgic for something you despised?
1. Dragon Dynasty
I wanted to hate Dragon Dynasty with all my Asian Film Nerd heart. I was poised, ready to unleash my violent distaste for their Tarantino-endorsed bloodsucking re-releases of classic Asian cinema, but to my surprise Dragon Dynasty actually delivers the goods. I wasn't convinced until I picked up a copy of the Shaw Brothers gem One Armed Swordsman and realized that the shitty dubs I'd been watching all those years, the grainy washed-out transfers, had reduced what is a remarkably beautiful film to just another chop-socky throwaway. Dragon Dynasty dusted it off, made it new again, allowed me to understand why this film had such impact to begin with, and treated it's release with the reverence it deserves. Nearly all of their releases to date have been handled with the same care. Sure, they could stand to knock a few dollars off the retail (some of these films are 30+ years old) but at least the devoted have access to this material in it's original glory.

LOVE to hate
6. Carlos Mencia
Mencia makes it so easy. He shits where he eats by insulting his own heritage, he blatantly steals material from other comics and he's mastered the art of being laughed at instead of laughed with. This guy makes Menudo look like Nobel Peace Prize nominees.
5. Cloverfield
Blah-blah fuckety-blah. By the time this movie releases it will have been so over-virally-marketed that it will have actually given people AIDS.
4. Texas (the State)
Every stereotype you've ever heard about Texas is true. The two years I lived there were the worst of my life. If you're the kind of person who rankles at what an underqualified and overprivileged mess George W. Bush is, who balks at what an obvious fucktard he appears to be, and who retches every time they hear him give one of his smug self-aggrandizing speeches, imagine an entire State that thinks, looks and acts the same way. They say Austin is nice, but honestly, I'm not willing to even risk it.
3. Poker Dudes
It's not so much the game itself or even the past 7 years of relentless hype, it's those douchebags with their backwards baseball caps, cocky attitudes, sunglasses and iPods that bother me the most. It's as though the Poker trend has turned millions of otherwise unremarkable frat boys into assholes of Fred Durstian proportions.
2. C.S.A. The Movie
I still haven't made it all the way through this piece of shit. I keep getting to the part about Lincoln hiding out in blackface with Harriet Tubman on the Underground Railroad and I just have to stop. I get it. I know what you're trying to say, hell I even agree with the underlying commentary, there's just got to be a way to show it that's less.... stupid.
1. Cuba Gooding Jr.
I'm with Aaron McGruder on the subject of CBJ- he's one step away from blatant minstrelry. I've never bought a single one of his performances, whether in diet Pepsi ads, A Few Good Men, or even Daddy Day Camp he just seems like a hollow shell, regurgitating his lines from a dark void deep within himself. Like he made a deal with the devil, only he just asked for Success and forgot to mention Talent.

Comments

I was expecting to see Carson Daily on here.

Posted by: Lindsey at September 14, 2007 7:45 PM

My hatred of Carson Daly is well-documented.
It's also been slightly tempered by the fact that the entire basis of My Name is Earl (which I find hilarious) is based on something the main character heard Carson Daly say while in a painkiller-haze.
I'm not saying I like Carson Daly, I still think he's the worst interviewer in the history of broadcast media, but his fame has finally served some sort of purpose I'm comfortable with recognizing.

Posted by: Adam at September 14, 2007 8:17 PM

"the Xbox 360 has emerged as the only real next-gen option for someone interested in playing beautiful, gritty, mature-oriented video games."

If by "mature-oriented" you mean "teenage-boy" oriented, then sure.

Posted by: anonymouse at September 15, 2007 7:40 PM

touche

But aren't all video games essentially "teenage-boy" oriented?

Or maybe you're just referring to games in which you get to pretend you're a testosterone-fueled badass, kill things and blow shit up?

I'll admit the Wii is amazing, but the most fun I've had with it is when playing with a group of friends. And there's just a handful of single-player oriented games available for it, with most of what's available and in development focusing heavily on casual group gaming and gimmicky motion sensitivity.

More than half of my time playing video games is spent alone, and I'll admit that in those instances I'm looking for an immersive, graphically stunning bit of cathartic escapism. If that means giving in to some adolescent male gaming stereotypes then so be it.

I'm curious what "anonymouse" would reccomend?

Posted by: Adam at September 16, 2007 4:18 AM

Hey...I live in Texas. We're not ALL like that. I'll grant you that the majority are, yes. And trust me, its not easy being one of the few enlightened persons in the whole of North Texas. I'm surrounded by assclowns and bible-thumping Pod-People. You can't even debate with these people. The lose their minds trying to fathom that you don't share their belief system.

But what they tell you about Austin is totally true. Its a completely different place to the point that it doesn't really feel like the rest of the state. I've lived near Fort Worth my whole life and I can attest that it is full of goddamn rednecks with stone-age mentalities. I have dreamed for years of moving closer to my kindred spirits in the Weird Capital of the state. But stay off 6th steet. Its a poor substitution for Burbon Street and is FULL TO THE GODDAMN BRIM with said rednecks, but imagine them drunk and high on their own superiority complexes.

Give Austin a try, but other than that you're right; stay out of Texas, unless you want to go there on vacation and come home on probation.

Posted by: Susan at September 16, 2007 3:11 PM

I think they actually term Cloverfield press leaks as "dirty needling."

Posted by: Garrett at September 24, 2007 11:12 PM

I hate Carlos Men-steal-ia with such a passion, that guy should not be paid for ripping other guys off.

Posted by: A.J. at September 25, 2007 4:35 PM

Carlos Mencia is worse than Dane Cook. That takes... something.

Posted by: Niggy Tardust at November 30, 2007 5:42 PM

Why is ONE sandwich still called a 'McGriddles'? That is why I hate to love them. Grammar is important. I actually know someone who contacted the McDonald's corporate office about the proper pluralization rules, but they claimed that because there are two of those maple syrup infused bread things, one sandwich is still plural. Bullshit, I say. But yes, tasty.

Posted by: Kristy at April 10, 2008 5:39 AM
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