December 17, 2006

{ Four Christmas presents to make the kids happy and freak the parents out }

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Christmas approaching and with it the hideous series of family gatherings, when you are supposed to hand a nicely wrapped gift to that unbearable niece of yours who last year vomited fruitcake and lemonade on that pair of Vans you were so happy to have found under the three. Do you know why she did it, by the way? Because that cheap DVD you got her really sucked: kids are still able to distinguish between the good, the bad and the ugly, you know? Heck, they are usually better than adults! Hence, if this year you want to protect your new shoes, jeans and bag, you better step up and get her a better present. Four Christmas presents to make the kids happy and freak the parents out. If mommy does not want you to play with it, you gotta have it. You know it, this is the rule. Hence, consider getting your lovely niece one of these. TEDDY BEARS From now on know as Teddy Scares.The graveyard spin on this kids classic will freak out most moms and delight most kids. Choose between the one-eyed and the zombie teddy for extra screaming factor. STATIONERY A gun hiding in a ruler costume. Pretty sweet for any kid, a bit less kind on the teacher. Bonus: if the other kids are dumb enough, your little evil niece will be able to protect herself from bullys for at least a week or so. WOODEN TOYS These seem pretty safe for any kids, but be aware they are designed with adult toys in mind, blind selection included. The Brio Networkers are the inhabitants of your computer: the e-mail man, the forgers working on the CD burners, the cleaners ... the viruses! The bad guys are way cooler than the good ones and the kids love that: it develop their morals. A good introduction for the little niece to urban toys: next year, you can get her a Smoking Labbit, she will love it. Her mom will hate you and force herself to stop smoking. SOAP BUBBLE MACHINE Kids love soap bubbles. Adults do too (don't pretend you don't!). And this is by far the sweetest bubble machine of the Universe. It is a priest to blow the magic bubbles out of holy water! This toy, in reality for adults, is created in many different colours by Mark Gonzales and it is a collection piece. Hence, make sure to slip some narcotic into the little niece's lemonade and leave the party with this toy before she does. They will never suspect of you: on the contrary, the mom will call you to apologize because the little pest has lost your gift! Revenge at last!

: Do you want the perfect Christmas present? Give gift baskets as presents this year! For all of your holiday gifts, sign online! The perfect Christmas present is fruit baskets!

     » Teddy Scares
     » Gun Ruler by Atypyk
     » Brio Networkers
     » Mark Gonzales Megga America Communion Priest
     » More priesthood by Mark Gonzales

By Tacita in Reviews, Toys