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April 8, 2005

{     "It's a Fact." (1 of 2)     }    

1. John Goodman had to lose weight to play Babe Ruth.
2. Since Desperate Living, every female lead in a John Waters film has started crying after seeing their wardrobe for the first time.
3. Years apart, Mama Cass and Keith Moon died in the same London flat, on the exact same bed.
4. Disney's Tomorrowland was designed by refugee Nazi scientists.
5. Beck's grandfather, Al Hansen, was the first to find Andy Warhol after he got shot; he also recommended to Lou Reed that he name his band 'the Velvet Underground'.
6. It's impossible to consume four saltine crackers in 60 seconds.

Comments

"The human head weighs 8 pounds."
Let me get my Lipnicki on. It's very Highlights magazine but I like it. We decided to break up my long-winded ass into two seperate installments.
Part 2 up in a few days. Thanks Shane.

Posted by: Eric at April 8, 2005 2:14 AM

Are there restrictions on #6?

I'm sure you could do it by putting them in a cup, adding water (turning them to mush), then drinking them all at once like a smoothie. No?

That said, I have a feeling I'm missing some rule on what constitutes "consume"...

Posted by: numlok at April 11, 2005 8:04 PM

I'm just guessing since I'm not too versed on the offical rulebook of the 60 Second Cracker Challenge, but I'm thinking the ol' Saltine Smoothie trick is a violation of some sort.
I guess we'll have to consult Slim Goodbody for the official judge's ruling, but since the salivary glands are the key factor in this, I'd say no.

Posted by: Eric at April 11, 2005 9:51 PM

It's all about the saliva-

Basically, after the third cracker, there's no juice left to help get the Saltine-wad down to your esophagus.
At that point, you're in danger of inhaling Saltine particulate.

I haven't done this with Saltines, but once tried to swallow an entire shaker full of black pepper with very similar results.

Posted by: Adam at April 12, 2005 6:47 PM

Adam brings up a good point in that one must always practice safety precautions, especially in the 60 second saltine challenge.

The most obvious threat occurs around the 40 second mark, when the athlete's accelerated breathing pattern may spell out danger, both to participants and spectators alike. Often the urge to laugh at this point will cause the chewer to: 1) exhale mass quantities of partially-chewed saltine particles, baring strong resemblence to ordinary saw dust, onto the gathered crowd of onlookers OR 2)inhaling said dust straight into the subject's lungs, causing him/her to choke on this sinister cracker biproduct.

Neither the author or crowndozen.com assumes responsibility for any injuries and/or deaths resulting from the 60 sec. saltine challenge. You play, you pay... chew at your own risk.

Posted by: Eric at April 12, 2005 8:01 PM
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