January 12, 2005

{     12 Reasons Why Public Enemy ('87-'90) is the best rap group of all time.     }    

1. Because Terminator X rocked your Grandpa's eyeglasses and still came off.
2. Because motherfuck Elvis and John Wayne.
3. Because even Madonna was jackin beats to justify her love.
4. Because they sampled James Brown in every song and you didn't even notice/care.
5. Because Sonic Youth's Kool Thing will, always and forever, be better than REM's Radio Song.
6. Because the S1W's were completely ridiculous and deserved the Gasface but you stood up for them anyway.
7. Because entire careers have been built around sampling that horn off Show'em What You Got.
8. Because You're Gonna Get Yours is recorded music's best song about how cool it is to drive an Oldsmobile.
9. Because of the first three lines in Black Steel.
10. Because you also bought Professor Griff's Pawns in the Game solo album thinking that it would be good, too.
11. Because screaming "BASS!!!!" in your finest Chuck D impersonation will always be fun.
12. Because Kerry King watched Channel Zero.