December 22, 2004

{     Conversion Table.     }    

1. Humpty Hump = the Tony Clifton of Hip Hop
2. Gravediggaz = the Pro Wrestling of Hip Hop
3. Hip Hop Credibility Scale = Actors Who Become Rappers > Rappers Who Become Actors
4. What Scarface is to Gangsta Rap = What Blade Runner is to Nerd Rap
5. Lee Ronaldo = the George Harrison of Sonic Youth
6. What Staying Alive is to Dance = What Atomic Dog is to Funk = Vomit
7. the Donnas = KISS - Gene Simmons ' marketing savvy + boobs
8. What Sade is to black people = What PJ Harvey is to white people
9. Sade with an R sound + pronouncing Ralph Fiennes = imminent mental implosion
10. Vaughn Bode is to graffiti = William Burroughs is to turntablism
11. Francois Truffaut & Jean Luc Godard = the Paul McCartney & John Lennon of film
12. Jay-Z = the Joe Camel-est lookin Mother Fucker in Hip Hop