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May 20, 2004

{     Twelve things that need to stop, now.     }    

01. Writing new country music, trust me, it's already been done as well as it can be.
02. Atkins dieting
03. Sideways ballcaps
04. Purposely loud mufflers
05. Bling-bling
06. Old people driving
07. Windows computers
08. Pennies
09. SUV's (okay, we get it, you have a small penis)
10. Suits, ties.
11. Ironic t-shirts
12. Parting your hair that way


I can see it now-
Shane's walking down the street, minding his own business, when he hears the soft strains of the new Alan Jackson album getting progressively louder. He looks up to see a giant Hummer2 bearing down on him, the old man behind the wheel looking dapper in his suit and tie but feeling a bit disoriented due to the lack of carbs in his diet. The old man doesn't see Shane, he's too busy trying to order one of those "funny" t-shirts from Abercrombie off the internet on his dash-mounted Windows Xp-runnin' Gateway portable. Shane is caught in the bling off the H2's 30" rims like a deer in the headlights, slips on a pile of discarded pennies and is creamed into the sidewalk by the gargantuan SUV. The old man driving doesn't even feel it. 10 minutes later, a dude in his Fast and Furious Chevy Cavalier with the cut out exhaust rolls onto the pile of goo that was once Shane. The driver removes his Fred Durst-lookin' sideways ballcap to reveal a hideous part in his hair, tosses in the new Kenny Chesney album and peels out in the puddle of Shane, to the sounds of "She Thinks My Tractor is Sexy".

Posted by: Adam at May 21, 2004 6:27 PM

just a little note... dr. atkins IS satan himself, i know he's dead and i'm a vegetarian so i'm biased, but i'm convinced that he is Satan himself... For your brain to function normally, you need 150-200 carbs (at least) a day or you will go into a state of mindless, couchpototoness that defeats the purpose anyway.. you will have no energy and your brain will lose valuable cells that contribute to memory and all other mental and physical functionality....... so, eat bread, potatoes, pasta, all the good things in life and Fuck Satan Atkins, God rest his soul...

Posted by: stace at May 27, 2004 5:16 AM

I disagree with 01. The world needs more Steve Earle and less Toby Keith. Much less.

Posted by: Al aka El Negro Magnifico at June 9, 2004 2:12 AM

I love macs just as much as everyone else, but i still don't care what I work on. If you *need* a mac to do your work, you're not as good as you think you are.

Bling Bling will never die... It will live forever and triumph, killing Atkins in the process....

Posted by: MLPROJECT at July 27, 2004 8:43 PM
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