November 18, 2005

{ The Juan McLean "Give me every little thing" 12" }

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It's a beautifull Sunday afternoon and I'm thinking, walk, right? So I put on my headphones, plug in my discman (yeah I know, whatever, fuck you and your Ipod), put in The Juan McLean and BAM! I'm out the door. I hit play and start thinking about Zaxxon realizing I haven't played that shit in like, years, when this giant, I mean like hundreds of feet tall giant, Bootsy Collins comes running at me. Now this Gigantor Bootsy is more like a Mecha Bootzilla but with a keytar instead of a bass and every time he hits the keys lazers shoot out of the neck. I'm so stuned by his radness that I don't start running untill one of his robo-platform boots (complete with robo-fishies inside them) comes crashing down mere inches away from me spraying my face with rubble. Now I turn and start running full sprint managing to get some space between me and Bootzilla when I realize all the M.U.S.C.L.E. Men I had in my pockets are falling out leaving a trail behind me like freakin' Hansel and Gretel. Just as Bootzilla is about to stomp on one of the M.U.S.C.L.E. Men he realizes it's Black Hole Sunshine (wicked rare). He bends over and with the delicate touch of a mother to her babe picks up B.H.S., raises the figure to the sky, and in a swarthy yet robotic tone says "Give me every little thing, and don't stop!". He follows the trail of figures like E.T. picking up Reese's Pieces and when he gets to the fifth one he stands erect, motionless and his head opens like a flip-top lid revealing a siren. The wail of the siren must have been a call to arms because a crazy big version of the Mothership appears out of nowhere followed by balloons and confetti. Then robo-Burnie Worrell and mecha-George Clinton jump out of the ship and in two part harmonie start singing "give me every little thing, and don't stop!". They pick me up and put me in the Mothership and we party all the way to Venus, stop off at Jupiter for some astronaut BBQ, and then they drop me off on my door step with a dvd of my day to show friends and family. Man! I love sundays.

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By Jesse in Music