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November 13, 2005

{     ego trip's Strictly Biz-Ness Poster     } Let me preface this by stating that I realize an entire article about a poster is kind of silly. I would normally try to write about something with a little more substance but there are several factors at work here which make this a special case. This is, indeed, a limited-edition poster (500 made) brought to you by the legendary Ego-Trip crew starring the one and only Biz Markie Puppet. Those of you who know what I’m talking about are already clicking the link at the bottom to go ahead with buying this incredible find, the rest of you need to listen up. All I can say is that I have this hanging on my wall between my Barbie Twins poster and my one with the Ferrari on it… and altogether, I think my place is looking pretty damn sweet. Ego Trip was an underground hip-hop magazine that achieved instant cult status in the early 90’s with a refreshing journalistic style that was equal parts smart and smartass (kind of like a pre-Larry Flynt/Jackass Big Brother was to skateboarding around the same time). The dead-on satirical tirades and insightful piss-takes were light years ahead of other alternative hip-hop Sources at the time and made each limited-run issue a highly sought-after commodity. After the magazine folded, the talented crew (which included Quannum graphic designer Brent Rollins and hip-hop renaissance man Chairman Mao) utilized their talents for informative writing and sharp social commentary to produce two of the most entertaining and insightful books in the recent memory of this author (who admittedly doesn’t read all that much). First came the all-encompassing hip-hop textbook, the plagiarism-baiting Book of Rap Lists which still stands as a must-own years after it’s first publication. This was followed by the equally-as-enjoyable Big Book of Racism, which delved into the touchy-topic with laser-precision while still keeping things light-hearted enough to spawn an excellent series of still-can’t-believe-they-aired VH1 specials. Now to the star of the show, the Biz Markie ventriloquist doll was first seen in the 1990 Master Ace video “Me and the Biz” after the real diabolical one was a no-show at his fellow Juice Crew member’s video shoot. The resulting video, where Ace is seen trading rhymes with a Howdy-Doodie incarnation of one of the world’s ugliest rappers, is quite possibly one of the worst ideas ever conceived. Ace’s career would survive this career gamble, but the Biz doll’s fate would not be as forgiving. Although Biz doll only agreed to accept to job as a favor, he would soon find fingers pointing at him during the negative backlash that ensued once the video aired. Forced into the position of scapegoat and outcast, Biz doll soon found himself out on the streets. No friends. No job. Now, in a time when unity within the hip-hop community is needed more than ever, we call on a long-forgotten hero to once again get the job done. In the spirit of the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Biz Doll has risen from the ashes like that of the great phoenix and joined the hands of crews and clans, coasts and continents once bitterly separated by only what can be considered petty differences. Check 1,2 party people, love’s gonna get ya. Straight up killin thugs with hugs, the hardest of gangstas melt like strawberry ice cream at the very site of the legendary puppet. “Keeping it real” agendas are put on pause as such hardcore acts as M.O.P., Schooly D, and Freddie Foxxx start giggling like little girls at the very thought of playfully picking the puppet’s nose or mischeviously giving the cuddly Biz a sip of beer. Those rappers can be so silly sometimes. All your favorites are here, putting aside their beefs for the opportunity to have their picture taken with an icon and represent a little puppet love on a full-color poster (in conjunction with a recent Ego Trip photo exhibit). Look at those grins, makes you wonder who the real teddy bear is, doesn’t it. From alpha B-Girl Debi Mazar and Fab Five Freddy to legendary puppet-haters Eminem and Kool Keith, that tough guy chip-on-your-shoulder lightens up a little after a losing bout with the soft, tender gaze of our fuzzy little friend. Delivering the message Farrakhan’s teachings and so many senseless tragedies failed to drive home, leave it to the plush B-I-Z to make us realize that we are all truly in the same gang. You’ve done it again, Biz Doll. I love you.

     » Get Yours at Turntable Lab... OpenBallistics, page 2.

By Eric in Other

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