October 20, 2005

{ Kretschmer's Wheat Germ }

Over the past 5 years, I've found myself cursed with an increasingly strong and entirely unexplainable craving for wheat germ. It's not that I particularly love the flavor or texture, it's just... something I seem to need. It's like when your dog goes out in the yard and eats a few mouthfuls of grass, responding to some mostly dormant instinct telling him that this is necessary while never consciously realizing the digestive benefits gained by doing so. And you think to yourself "What is that crazy fucking dog doing, eating all that grass?" With that caveat comes my earnest endorsement of Kretschmer's Wheat Germ. I usually go with the Honey Crunch variety, if for no other reason than that the flavor seems to mix better with yogurt. The label tells me that wheat germ is an excellent source of Vitamin E and Folic Acid, and I am assured that there are a bounty of delicious recipes available that capitalize on the nutritional boost and nutty crunch of Kretschmer's. Who am I to argue? It's my dream to one day be sponsored by Kretschmer's (another fine product from the folks at The Quaker Oats Company), so that I can spread the good word about wheat germ the world wide, and hopefully secure a lifetime's free supply in the process. Imagine the commercial: A tight shot of me shovelling spoonful after spoonful of Kretschmer's Honey Crunch Wheat Germ into my mouth, frantically and with sloppy abandon. Slow pan back to reveal the scene: a grocery market aisle, and two store clerks watching me, dumbfounded as I continue to crunch and shovel away. The pimply clerk turns to the fat clerk and says "What is that crazy fucking Adam doing, eating all that wheat germ?" Cut to splash screen of the Kretschmer's logo and a shot of the product laid out attractively beneath. A friendly voice over reads "If it's good enough for crazy fucking Adam, it's good enough for your entire family." END.

» Kretschmer.com

By Adam in Food & Drink | Comments:

Comments

haha.
you know, what?
if you did an ad like that, I'd buy the fucking wheatgerm.
(i've tried it before...i like it with cereal...as if cereal needed more wheat)

Posted by: guess at October 21, 2005 4:06 PM

I love you Adam Barraclough. I love you with my whole heart.

Posted by: Aaron at October 22, 2005 7:56 AM

Dogs eat grass to induce vomiting.

Posted by: Michael at October 25, 2005 4:52 PM

It all makes sense now....

Thanks Mike.

Posted by: Adam at October 25, 2005 11:10 PM

Adam, keep on chompin'. ck

Posted by: charlie kretschmer at January 24, 2006 1:20 AM

Glad to know you like my family's recipe for wheat germ. The recipe hasn't change since Charles Kretschmer, Jr. decided to toast the wheat germ he and his father sold at their grocery store in the 1930s.

Posted by: Jennifer Kretschmer at November 30, 2007 3:51 PM