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April 26, 2004

{     EA Sports: Fight Night 2004     }    

E...A...Sports...oh baby! Ever want to bloody up someone's face? Of course you have. EA Sports, Fight Night 2004 (boxing) is a perfect outlet for pent up aggression. Yes, I take out anger on video games ... sad ... maybe ... do I care ... no, because I just kicked the shit out of Muhammed Ali. EA brings us the most respectable boxing video game since Mike Tyson's Punch Out. It's got an all-star roster and "total control punching" that is reminiscent of that boxing game that you play the arcades where you furiously slam the two hand controls until your wrists bleed or the computer works you. This is the kind of game that make your thumbs burn and blisters form. Featuring a crack-like addictive "career" mode, this game is the most extensive and interactive boxing game yet. Create your own boxer, dress him up, give him a mohawk, and commence ass kicking. Work your way up the ranks owning scrubs with KO after KO, brutal uppercuts and devastating hay-makers. This game doesn't shy away from blood either. Between rounds, you get to check out the damage done to your opponent's face. Beat them down until they are a piece of barely breathing roast beef. After the fight, train on punching bags and sparing dolls to up your abilities and attributes. Also visit the fight shop, where you can buy new threads, theme music (more of that later), and entrance effects, like doves or fire works. Oh and dancing booty hoes ... yep ... scantily clad dressed chicks that shake their shit along side you while you make your way to the ring ... why not? The soundtrack includes some nice fighting music, including tracks from MOP and Notorious BIG. The graphics are great and the game play is top-notch. Go get a 30 pack and this game, and call it a night. Contributed by Gary Kost

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12 Stupid Blunt Wrap Flavors

12. Maple Syrup
11. Mojito
10. Banana Split
9. Kristal
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