September 24, 2003

{ Knights of the Old Republic (XBOX) }

XBox did stuff with this game. You can be all Luke Skywalker feathered bangs or you can dress in black. Rob peoples apartments. Be a total sucker of a substance called K-384 (or to you laymen "crack"). This game rocks. Jedi Jedi Jedi. SITH SITH SITH. Get your ass 50+ hours to kill (even if it means getting rid of the old "ball and chain")... and become the messenger of death. Pull out that double edged saber and feel that "hong hong skkkkk skkkk hong hong wabb wange" right before you jam a laser blade thru a minion’s torso. Get this game. Beat this game. Then go out and beat a double-wide trailer salesmen. Take the game seriously. Be that much of a fuck. Go to jail. Have a lengthy trial. But don't blame Shane Sane or myself for this diatribe. Blame your cousin or some shit. But honestly, it's a perfect XBOX game...the best since HALO 9 (I can time travel, dammit). So let your hair down. Grab a saber. And be as sexually naughty to Bastilla as humanly possible. I never see the bitch. And no matter how many random dudes she fondles, Xbox’s latest Star Wars Universe venture is still far more fulfilling than a bitch-based argument. SO in closing Knights of the Old Republic - INFINITY STARS

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By Alan Smithee in Games | Comments: